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What on Earth is possessing me to come back to this blog? It's been years. But for some reason I cannot get it out of my head. It seems as though whenever life brings me to the brink I come back to it. This blog or others I have kept in the past. I come back to writing. And image making.

This time is different though. This time I'm writing in the thick of it. You may think I'm talking about the virus. The GREAT PAUSE. And while I am definitely being propelled back to into typing out words because of this time in history, "the thick of it" in my case, is in the middle of trying to parent and homeschool and exist in a bubble with the word "mom" being called out around me infinite times throughout the day and night. How does one collect thoughts or even begin to squeeze out art or words when the parent pressure cooker is on?

Trust me, I've pondered this (in fragmented bits of time) for the last seven + years. I've decided that it's in me, this need to create and express myself, and although it won't come out in complete sentences or shows or whatever right now, it has to come out in some form regardless. In a lot of ways parenthood and definitely this new type of shelter in place parenthood is fueling it. Maybe over time I will scoop up all the beautiful fragments that lay around me and I will make some fantastic sense of it all. For now I will continue to ramble and make stuff and put it out there from time to time. If anyone can relate or is interested in what I have to say, then all I ask is to let me know, I love a good conversation.

The image above is a rough start to a piece of land art I started in the woods out back last week. Virtual learning had instructed my first grader to go get his hands dirty and make some land art. Seemed like a miracle was handed down that day as we got off the damn screens and made our way out into the woods.

So why post a pic of a largely unfinished piece of art? Really just a cleared out area of dirt with a circle of dead hosta stems to frame it. Well, because it makes sense to me right now in a Covid-19 world. As we raked areas of the forest floor "clean" to reveal the dark earth below it seemed a metaphor in the making. So I made a little fence with the dead stems. Keep out OR keep them out OR keep us in OR keep us safe, keep them safe, keep IT contained. Right?

We could also view this from the perspective of the earth. That patch of dirt looking us square in the eye. Seeing us as we scramble to keep safe. Us seeing IT for the first time in what feels like forever. Breathing a big sigh of relief as it takes a much needed break and sheds some of our weight. Maybe that fence, as fragile as it is, is meant to keep us from leaving our footprints all over the place.

Intertwined, our sickness, the planet's healing.

Right now we are being asked to be still. Such a simple request, but at the same time not. Much has been left unfinished, just like this little work of art I started. A lot has changed and a lot has been undone. All I can hope is that in this stillness we take the opportunity to LISTEN. I mean really listen to whatever story is being told right now. Because eventually my little fence will break. It's not built to last. The question isn't how long can we keep this up, it is what will we do with this new story we are being told once we get out.

Stay safe everyone. Sending love out from my little corner of the universe to yours...

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